Dealing With Expectations

One of my biggest flaws is that I expect a lot from myself. I think, now that I’m not a teenager, I need to be successful at everything right away. I get down on myself for not being a perfect eater, for not working out enough, for sleeping in ever. I have lost a lot of sleep just worrying and picking on myself for not being perfect already.

So to combat my Type A, perfectionist self, I made a list (naturally). In my list, I wrote down everything that I expect of myself. Then I wrote down everything that other people expect of me. It’s quite overwhelming to look at. There are small things, such as being expected to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, to big things like figuring out what I’m going to do for my whole life.

I decided to go through my list and cross off anything that was a reasonable expectation so I could have a more focused look on the difficult ones. They were things that I had no idea how to manage and things that I wasn’t sure I wanted to maintain.

A huge part of the reason why anybody stresses out is because of expectations. To anyone who feels like they are drowning in expectations, you can choose which ones apply to you. If someone expects you to be there for them 24/7 and they don’t appreciate you and could easily survive without you, you can choose not to be there for them anymore. You don’t have to live up to unreasonable expectations. You decide which ones you want to live by because every day you wake up, it is you living in your body. No one else. It’s your life that is affected by your actions.

I still have a hard time letting things go. I get angry because people think things or expect things from me that I resent, but it’s a learning process. So, Internet Friends, I ask you now to make a list of expectations. A huge list. Get a little anxious about it. Then pick and choose what you want to do. It’s not selfish to hone in on yourself. You have to put yourself first.