AMERICAN ULTRA IS NOT JUST ANOTHER STONER COMEDY

Oh my, internet friends, have I just seen a movie.

If you have ventured into other realms besides my blog page, you’ve most likely seen advertisements for American Ultra, a badass movie that includes this generations most awkward yet elegantly witty actor Jesse Eisenberg  starring with equally talented Kristen Stewart. If you have yet to watch a film with these two, you need to go watch Adventureland (which is on Netflix!) right now. Shut your phone/computer/tablet/etc. and watch that movie. Be satisfied with rare natural onscreen chemistry, then come back to my post and continue to listen to me glorify them and their new film. Okay? Cool. 

I trust that if you’re reading this far, you have either already seen Adventureland (kudos to you, my friend) or you just came back from a nice Netflix adventure.

Back to American Ultra: OKAY!

What I really found that I most appreciated about this film was that it found a way to sort of break the mold of its genre.  I flirted with clichés of movie making, but in a fresh way, which is exactly what good artists do. You watch Nicholas Sparks’ adaptation movies and you feel the formula that they push over and over, and it works.  On the other hand, you watch something like This Is the End and the Neighbors and you feel they avoid clichés in all the wrong ways. American Ultra doesn’t do either. It gives moments of familiarity and adds uniqueness. I think that’s because its well written, well conceived, and the cast consists of all very smart actors who understand comedy.

If you like movies that get you to laugh without using slapstick or crude/lame jokes, you’ll definitely enjoy this one.  It was exciting in an extremely human way. There are some very real moments that are raw and naturally captivating. I love when I’m watching movies and I’m almost bouncing in my seat because I connect with the emotions the characters feel.  This is the kind of movie that when someone is yelling in distress, you just want them to yell louder and get angrier. It is a success when you get excited by things like this and you get to forget that it’s just a movie. I caught myself sitting there in the theater tonight, not blinking, and terse. If you have any preconceived notions that this is just another stupid stoner flick, don’t buy into that. Go see what really good films look like. Go celebrate the artists’ triumph. Success is rare. American Ultra is guilty of that achievement.

I just got really sappy about a movie again, didn’t I? Okay…

Guide to Becoming a Grownup

Welcome to Julia’s internet self-help guide for new big kids on pretending to fit in with the other big kids.

Ready for adulthood? Me neither. Great! Let’s get started.

Today’s question comes from my brain.

Dear Julia,
What’s the first step to fitting in with other grownups?
Love, Julia.

Well, Julia the first step of fitting into anything is to pretend you already do. Next time you’re at family dinner, you don’t wait to be seated at the big kids’ table. You move your name place from that tiny fold out card table with the bulky plastic chairs and smack it down with purpose next to a wine glass and say, “I’d like a scotch on the rocks with a twist, Betty,” to your aunt (which is what Monica drinks on Friends so you know it’s a real drink) because adults do things with purpose and confidence (Also don’t be nervous about the rocks. They’re probably not real rocks).

To fit into a grownup’s natural habitat, you must perfect the art of blending. Repeat after me: To blend is to pretend. Over and over. That’s your new mantra for adulting. Applied to a situation, it works like this… You’re at a party and adults are talking about adult stuff. You must now conform your conversation to match their adulting. Kim might say “I am so disappointed in the candidates for presidents this year,” and you must blend. Saying you like someone will isolate you from adults. You must pretend to dislike. Even take it up a notch. Be even grumpier about the presidential election (adults like grumpy people).

Now, if your first attempt at adulting fails, just go home and continue binge watching Netflix. Because adults are mean, and OITNB is not.