Love Can't Wait

Recent events in my life have sparked my thoughts about inequality in society right now.  I just dealt with some raging sexism at work and I realized it was the first time that I had personally dealt with the effects of inequality. I knew that we needed feminism and I’ve been an open supporter of it since I was little, but I was always coming from an outside perspective.  Now that I can say that I have been personally affected by sexism, I understand in a very minor way what the problem is.  A lot of people that aren’t supporters of feminism and think we’re already fixed don’t understand the effect it has on people.  The same thing happens with the LGBT community.  I have some real life experience that I can share with all of you about the bullying in schools towards gay people. 

During my senior year of high school, there was this boy who gave my friend and me a particularly hard time.  As us girls who are very close, hetero or not, we hold hands.  It was not uncommon for my friend and me to walk to our next class hand in hand.  We were not a couple, just really comfortable being as close as we were.  Every so often, after our lunch period, we would have an unpleasant encounter. 

One day in particular I remember, we were walking down a hall with very few people in it and from behind us came this boy who went right between us knocking our hands apart.  It wasn’t crowded in the hall so he had plenty of room to walk around us.  This sort of thing happened a few times and looking back at it now, I probably should have done something more than saying “What the f***?” because I can only hope that he will not do that to other people.  We thought it was rude and homophobic but we weren’t hurt by it so we didn't do anything.  

One other incident that only I experienced one time happened when I was walking to class alone in a hallway and he was coming in the opposite direction.  As we passed each other, he turned to me and said “Dyke,” then walked away.  As a person who doesn’t offend easily I kept walking and laughed it off, but I always worry that I wasn’t his only target and he was taking it easy on me.  There were plenty of other people in the school that were gay and I regret a lot that I didn’t do anything to stop him.  I might be lucky enough to have thick skin, but not everyone is. 

Whenever people say that we don’t have to protect the LGBT community, that they chose this life and need to deal with it alone, I’m always very upset by that.  Some states don’t include gay people in policies protecting from harassment, Indiana can refuse service, and now someone wants a bill passed that legalizes shooting gays in the head.  

Why in the world are people so offended by the idea that someone wants to kiss the same gender that they think murder is acceptable? I will never fully understand it and it terrifies me.  I am scared for the people involved in hate crimes and I am extremely upset for people who feel like they don't belong in this world.  Believe me, you do. Much more than someone who wants you out of it. 

I really hope that that boy either stopped or was stopped and that he didn’t make someone’s life miserable.  I say this as an apology to whoever has to deal with people like this.  I’m sorry I didn’t do anything then.  I also say this as a message to people who see this happening and I urge you to say something. As for the people who are perpetrators of harassment or worse.  You spend such a short time on this planet.  How about you focus some energy on healing it, not hurting it.  

Don't Wait

Hello Internet Friends,

Apologies are to be made for my general lack of presence on this blog.  But it’s the eleventh hour and finals week is almost upon us! As this semester is coming to an end, I have had a very prominent thought in my life about how we think of other people. 
Just recently I had my last class with a bunch of really awesome people and I realized that we all really enjoy each others’ company and it is going to be a sad thing to not have a class with them anymore.  To me I was upset that all of us hadn’t realized this sooner.  We spent all semester awkwardly avoiding conversation with each other and waiting desperately before classes for our professor to come in so we wouldn’t have to sit in painful silence.  Now that I know that we all get along so well, I find it silly and sad that it took us so long to warm up to each other.  I really didn’t happen until about two weeks ago.  Now the semester is over and I think back to all the times that I waited too long to make friendships.  One memory in particular was when I was in eighth grade and it was the very last day of school and soon everyone would all be heading to different high schools and I kept hoping this one boy (we’ll name him Harold) would ask me to be his girlfriend.  I liked Harold the whole school year, but waited until the very last day to say anything because I knew it would force him to act quickly.  Part of this was me being overly good at manipulation at a young age, and part was a desperate cry for this boy to like me.  Looking back on this it is so silly that it took me so long to do something.  There are so many instances in my life I can point to where similar things have happened and I think it is so sad.  Whether it was a friendship or a potential relationship, I thought I had to wait for things to work themselves out.  Word to the wiser-than-me, don’t go by that mantra.  That mantra sucks.  No one should feel that they need to wait until the last second to make a connection with someone.  Go right the heck out there and go for it! Most of the time, something good is just waiting to happen and you get in the way of letting yourself have something good.  Don’t let that whole semester go by, don’t wait until you’re graduating, leaving on office, or moving out of town.  Grab time by its feathers and fly with it. 

 Love you all, (except for you, poophead. You know who you are.)

Escaping Suburbia: Getting in Touch

Finally, the negative degree weather is over and I had a Saturday with nothing planned so I went on an adventure that I like to call Escaping Suburbia.  The weather wasn’t great, it was just above freezing and all the snow at my house was melted so I figured it would be extremely muddy what with all the melted snow.  I wasn’t even a little bit right.  Ten yards into the trail there was a foot of snow which was okay but a lot colder than I anticipated.  However, under the shade of the trees, the snow had compacted and it was all ice. 

Now, since I’m Julia, I wanted to take the tougher trail that was difficult and made you prone to slipping, even in eighty degree weather.  About five minutes into the hike, my boyfriend and I were slipping all over the place and I sat on a fallen tree, defeated.  I didn’t want to go on because I knew that the trail was really steep and if you fell the wrong way, you’d tumble three stories off the edge into a creek.  We didn’t want to be quitters so we decided that we would just go as far as we could, then turn back once it got too icy.  Two minutes later, we were at a steep drop with no trees or roots to help keep your balance.  We were about to turn back when I slipped a little and got an idea.  Instead of turning back, we slid down the ice on our butts, and what I thought would’ve been a crappy day turned into one of the most fun times I’ve had hiking.  There was a lot of butt sliding, climbing over fallen tree limbs, and falling through feet of snow into the creek.  It really wore me down.  I twisted my ankle and fell in the creek a couple of times, but it was awesome. 

You learn a lot about yourself when you’re forced to channel your wild side (wild in a nature/animalistic sense, not spring break in Cancun wild).  The typical person just sits and stands and walks and that’s it, really.  They might work out, but even then, it’s repetitive. Being around nature is what humans were supposed to do.  As much as people might disagree, humans are just animals with complex emotions.  We are no more important than other mammals and insects.  We don’t have any more of a right to Earth than every other creature we live with.  Going outside and getting in tune with everything out there (instead of looking at Facebook or Twitter) is exhilarating. 

When I’m hiking, I learn my body’s rhythm and stride better.  There is nothing to distract from myself.  It’s fun to see what you’re capable of.  One of my favorite feelings is when I’m going down a steep slope and I just let my feet fall in to place.  Hesitation just doesn’t exist in those moments.  The idea is that you don’t go down slowly and carefully, afraid of falling, you just leap and land without fear.  And I think that’s how life should be lived; without hesitation.  Just leaping and landing knowing that you could fall, but being okay with it.    

doTerra Essential Oils: My Top Five Favorites

It has been a while since I wrote about healthy living, and I thought that since Earth Day is coming up (not really soon, but hey, I’m excited), I would like to share some thoughts on a company called doTerra.

The company really has the right idea about being healthy.  You know that saying, ‘there’s an app for that’? Well with doTerra, you can say, ‘there’s an oil for that’.  DoTerra sells essential oils in their purest form.  I think I’ve said before that the Earth has a lot to offer us if we figure out how to use it, and doTerra gets that. 

I’ve tried a bunch of the oils, and they are all great and I have picked my top five that I shall now share, in no particular order, with my internet friends.

1.       Peppermint - I use this mostly for muscle cramps, but it’s also great for alertness and I’ve found it makes me feel chipper.  My favorite use of peppermint is for my lady cramps.  I really don’t like taking Advil, and I’ve found that if I put peppermint right on my back and my stomach it makes the cramps bearable. I also use it right on my belly for upset stomachs. 

2.       Lavender- It’s not a secret that I have anxiety.  For a long time it was so bad, I just didn’t understand how I could get over it.  For the most part, I’m better but whenever I have a flare up, I use lavender.  I don’t think it’s just psychological, I really feel that it helps me calm down during a panic attack.   

3.       Balance- I know there are health benefits for this oil blend, it’s called the grounding blend, but I personally love it because it reminds me of hiking.  The main ingredient is Spruce oil and it smells beautiful.  Native Americans used it for spiritual cleansing and respiratory help.

4.       Frankincense- Ahh, the oil of all oils. I use this on my face to help heal acne scars, I put it on scrapes and small cuts, put it on the bottoms of my feet. (FYI Fact: The largest pores on your body are your feet.  Putting the oils on your feet is the quickest method to get the oil working in your body). 

5.       Wild Orange- Two things I like to do are A) stay healthy and B) oil pull (swish oil in your mouth for 15 minutes).  I like putting the orange oil in my water as opposed to drinking orange juice to help my immune system because water is more hydrating, and the oil doesn’t have all the sugar that the juice has.  The oil is made from the peel, not the actual fruit so it doesn’t have all the acid.  I also put it in coconut oil when I oil pull because it makes it taste nice instead of like oily spit. 

This is seriously a small list compared to what they have available.  I found out about doTerra from my neighbor slash sister-at-heart at what I thought was going to be a party where people sell you stuff you don’t really need.  I’ve been to a lot of “parties” where people are trying out entrepreneurship and for the most part, you buy the stuff to help them out and it’s never as good as what it’s supposed to be. DoTerra isn’t a company that’s interested in just selling products to get money, and I really like that.  They’re all about helping people live a healthier life.  Their products aren’t something you just buy to help out your friend, and it’s not like jewelry and make up parties, it’s an informative get together to learn about essential oils and how it can help you live healthier (Was that redundant? That was probably redundant. Oh well).  I think doTerra is way of living, and it’s really worth taking a look at if you’re interested at doTerra. 

My Strange Dream: Stupid Freaking Rat

The other day I had a really weird dream, but it was so vivid and strange I thought I should share it.

In my dream, I had previously obtained a rat as a pet. Now, that’s when I should’ve realized it was a dream because rats freak me out and this thing was much closer to me than my conscious self would ever let a rat get.  In fact, the only thing the rat wanted to do was snuggle up in my hands.  I didn’t want to keep the thing, but my mother was insistent that I keep it.

Honestly the rat was kind of cute because it loved me so much but I didn’t want it.   I had an itty bitty little carrier for it to sleep and my mother had a fit, telling me I needed to get it a proper home.  Here I am trying to get rid of the darn thing and now it needs a cage.  I begrudgingly agreed to go buy a rat cage at the pet store.  During the walk there, I thought the rat was biting me because I felt his teeth on my thumb, but I realized he was just sitting there with his teeth placed uncomfortably on my finger.  I guess it was his way of saying “I love you”.  As soon as I got to the pet store, the rat kept trying to run away from me and I kept saying, “Stupid freaking rat,” because he was indeed a stupid freaking rat.

This is where the dream ended, but my dad insists that there be an ending to the story, so here’s how I imagine it would’ve ended.

At this point I was looking desperately for a rat that I didn’t even want to keep.  Eventually I found the rat all snuggled up in a display cage looking annoyingly cute, and I had to buy the cage because he refused to come out.  After I went through check out, the rat got out of the cage, climbed back into my hands and placed his teeth on my thumb.  And we lived uncomfortably ever after.

I have a feeling this won’t be the last post of its kind…

Coping with Turning Twenty

I have about sixty-four days until I am no longer a teenager.  Part of me is like WOO! I’ll be a cool twenty-something, but then there’s panicky me running about, trying to find out how not be a grown up yet.  For starters, I am fully invested in trying to find out who ‘A’ is on Pretty Little Liars.  This is fully justifiable because I have been waiting to find out since I was a freshman in high school, and I’m going to be going into my junior year of college this year. 

Wow, panicky Julia is not okay with that sentence, but I digress.  I've begun collecting knick-knacks that have certain childlike qualities to them.  I have wee little potted plants that, to me, look like little elves would tend to them (I sing to these little plants daily to help them grow). I even ordered a tiny little watering can online so the elves will be able to pick it up.

I just recently hung five little pictures of adorable animals – including an otter, a ducky, a bunny, a squirrel and an elephant – right next to my bed.  I in fact plan to own a duck when I have my first apartment.  I like to believe that adult me won’t be regular.  I’ll have a part time yoga instructor job, a wacky apartment, be a freelance writer, and have ducks as pets.  I worry that I’ll wake up twenty and suddenly have a desperate thirst to sit behind a desk in a cubicle 9 am to 5 pm every weekday, wear pant suits, and care about what my cuticles look like.  I guess my framed otter picture is my teenage reminder to my future self not to be regular.   

I sometimes like to picture my older self and try to guess what I’d say to me right now.  I mostly think that she’d strut into my room, all stylish, long haired and fabulous and tell me that the future is great.  I married Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence sang at our wedding and Jo Rowling herself was there to tell me she was a big fan of my work.  

Being Nineteen

I am always thinking about how I can be special, what I can do to make myself feel successful, things I wish I had that would make me special.  I’ve been a part of special things before and they were the things that made life valuable. All of those things happened in high school and I’ve kept a promise with myself that I would never be someone who peaked in high school or just do mediocre things.  I refuse to ever get a sensible job, even if I have to live in a box.  I’ve flirted with the idea of so many professions that all take incredible luck and convenient timing.  I went to NYC to be a Broadway actress then realized I didn’t really even like Broadway all that much.  I’ve thought about moving to Europe for a year just to say I did it.  I’ve even thought of moving to LA and becoming a yoga instructor/art teacher/starving actress. 

I don’t know what it’s like when you’re no longer a teenager, but nineteen has been the most confusing year of my life.  The only way I can describe this age is you’re finally out of the haze of hormones and high school, and it’s really the first time you’re conscious of being an intellectual being in the sense that you have so many opportunities and choices, but then you’re condemned to sit in a building for most of your day and figure out what in the hell you’re going to make of yourself while you’re tuning out lectures about formal criticism, industrialism, and dead people who played the lute.

Do I have an idea of what I want to do for a living? Yes. I think. Maybe.  Possibly. Why.  WHO’S ASKING? WAIT DON’T MAKE THAT MY FINAL ANSWER!

 Friends TV Marathon anyone?