Pretty Little Moments

www.ourgom.com

So twice in the past week-ish, I have woken up to the same sound. Sounds kind of creepy, but it’s not I promise. In both incidents, it was well before I wanted to be awake that I was awoken and I was fairly immediately pleased.

The first of these encounters happened on the last day of my finals and the last thing I needed was to be awake before I had to be, and when I heard a strange ruckus downstairs, I was confused and annoyed for a couple minutes until I heard the telltale sound of a little kid. A one year old to be fairly precise, doing that “ah ah” noise. And I was like, there’s a baby in my house! Yay, I love babies! So I went downstairs not knowing why or how there was a baby in my house, but I was too excited about having a baby in my house (did I say that phrase enough?). So I rush down stairs and my dad’s friend is over and he has his little grandson who is toddling around my living room being mega-adorable. I was pretty glad to be awake, man. He was so sweet.

The second instance was this morning actually. I hadn’t gotten home until like midnight and right after the sun rose, basically, I heard outside my window people yelling. For a split second, I was highly irate until I realized it was little kids giggling. Then it was just infectious and I started smiling. There is something about little ones laughing that just makes me happy. I love hearing youthful, innocent happiness.

I tell these stories for two reasons, one because I just want to express how healing and utterly beautiful children’s happiness can be. And secondly, I think that it is so important to appreciate little moments like those. A lot of my happiest moments in life come from appreciating very small things; like hearing laughter in the morning instead of an alarm clock. Or taking a nature stroll and witnessing spectacular things (which I often write about in Escaping Suburbia). As the holidays come barreling towards us about to pass in the blink of an eye, take some time to enjoy little things and reflect on them. Cherish moments more than gifts (sorry, that was mushy). 

Weird Is Good

About a year ago, I was up late on my phone (shocking, right?) and I was getting to that really weird part of the internet where it can either turn into looking at videos of elephants giving birth or things that you wish your eyes could un-see. 

What I found was pretty much in the middle of the spectrum. It's called ASMR and apparently it had a surge of popularity in 2013, but I'm always late to the party. 

ASMR, which is an acronym for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response is when you get tingles on your scalp, neck or back. A lot of people get those tingles when someone is brushing their hair, if they hear certain sounds, or when they get massages. 

The videos can get really weird, like really really weird. (TORTURE With MEMORY Hypnosis: Binaural ASMR Sleep Role Play | Halloween) But once you get past the weirdness, its like the second best kind of video to watch on YouTube other than kitties. 

I particularly like ASMR because a lot of the videos deal with easing anxiety. My favorite video right now is this one:

~Relaxing Reiki Session ASMR Roleplay~

And then there are the funny ones where people tease at the weirdness of ASMR like:

Amazing ASMR Experience - Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning

and

The Most Disturbing ASMR Video from CollegeHumor

I suggest for anyone who needs to chillax, you go ahead and check this odd phenomenon out. If you can handle weird and you aren't afraid of someone looking through your YouTube History, then ASMR is for you. 

Among many of its kind, here are some videos for newbies to ASMR:

What is ASMR? by GentleWhispering

What is ASMR? 30 different BINAURAL triggers to find yours! By Olivia Kissper

What is ASMR? 40 fast triggers to find your TINGLES for relaxation | binaural | Olivia kisser

What Is ASMR? An explanation by Emma WhispersRed

Go explore! Honestly, it is one of the most helpful things I have found for dealing with my anxiety when I need to occupy my thoughts, but don't want to feel like I'm mindless. ASMR is like a spa for your brain and there is so much of it on YouTube that it never gets old. 

Real Talk | The Veggie Stigma

opkansas.org


When I was a freshman in high school, I became a vegetarian and since then (the last seven years (holy sh*t that’s a long time!)) I have been on and off varying forms of vegetarianism.  For the last year or so, I have eaten meat, but haven’t touched dairy. And just recently, for about the last few weeks, I stopped eating meat for ethical reasons. There are some people in my life, a lot actually, who give me a stank face when I say things like, “I don’t eat dairy products,” or when I first declared my vegetarianism seven years ago. The only reason I ever quit vegetarianism in the first place was because I felt so pressured by people all the time. I was always made to feel like I was a burden to feed even though why I was doing what I was doing felt right.

Frankly, I don’t understand it at all. I’ve encountered people personally offended by my choice of diet. My best guess is that it is their form of defense mechanism somewhere very internally protecting them from having to be around me. The stereotype about vegans/vegetarians is that we will preach to you about your wrong-doing to the world. Sometimes that is true. As I have done research whether it be scholarly or videos from YouTube, I often come across people who blatantly attack other people and spew venomous facts at them. Personally I think that it is the worst method of getting the message out about veganism. No one wants to be verbally assaulted.

With anything, really, you’ll find extremists and I personally will never be one. That’s why I get really angry when someone looks at me like I have insulted them when I say I’m vegan. That’s why I haven’t out right told anyone yet. I’m just sort of phasing into it discreetly, but still I get, “Why aren’t you getting the chicken on your chipotle?” with a caustic tone. For some reason, it really annoys people when I won’t eat meat. Again, it might be a subconscious reaction to try to shut me down to avoid any sort of Vegan Propaganda speeches. To anyone reading this that eats meals with me, the only time I will tell you information is if you A) ask me specifically to know more, or B) tell me I am stupid for my choices.

I will make it clear that I don’t think meat eating is wrong, I just have a problem with the way meat is mass produced and how it affects the animals’ lives. If you’re a Katniss-type and hunt wild turkeys and deer, that’s awesome. You’re living like a natural human. I wouldn’t turn down venison. This might seem pretty weird, but that’s just my choice. I encourage anyone to seek some information about factory farming, but I won’t go so far as some whacked out people I saw in a forum the other day. They said they won’t attend a holiday gathering where animal products are served. I think we can all agree that that sucks for everyone. And I promise not all of us are like that.

So I will leave you with the hopes that if you ever encounter a non-meat eater type human, you won’t make them feel weird about it if they haven’t tried to make you weird first; also to encourage you to not plug your ears if they do try to preach. They do it with good intentions.

How to Make Your Period Suck Less

So you’re a woman that menstruates. I’m sorry.

I know that a lot of the time PMS and cramps can feel unimaginably painful. Depending on how bad it is for you the pain can feel anywhere between a mild unpleasant stomach cramp (lucky) to actually writhing in pain because your body feels like it’s full of hot lava and a flailing, ravenous animal has gone loose in your uterus.

At my worst, I would feel like I needed to go to the hospital because something felt like it was going to burst. Advil didn’t help, and I couldn’t handle eating… It was awful.

I did some research about why period cramps suck so much, and how I could fix them. It was so bad that I would have to make sure that I was not doing anything the day I was supposed to get my period because I was totally bed-ridden. A lot of results showed up about diet and lifestyle choices, and that the only way to get rid of cramps was to do something about it before they start. Once you have them, there’s very little you can do.

My advice to the world of females is to log your period so that you can plan ahead. Usually a week or two before my period starts; (while I’m PMSing) I start to cut out greasy and sugary foods (and sometimes meat) from my diet. Mind you that I do not drink coffee, pop, or alcohol whatsoever. I have many reasons why those do not exist in my life, but the biggest incentive to someone who likes those things is that they make menstruation SO much worse. If you have a hard time with your cramps or PMS, stay the hell away from pop especially. It utterly destroys your system.

I know that diets really aren’t everyone’s thing, but if it’s only for those two weeks before your expected period date, it’s not that hard to do.

The Julia-Science-Logic (totally not real or credible, but I believe in it) is that if you treat your body well while it is creating the lining of the uterus that it is going to shed, you’re going to have an easier time dealing with the shedding of this lining. The more prepared/healthy your body is, the better it will function.

The only things that I can suggest for bad cramps the first few days of your period are tea (nettle and raspberry leave are great), heating pads, and getting out of bed. I find that the longer I wait to get going in the morning, the worse my cramps get. If I’m up right away, my body gets a head start on feeling good.

My goal in life is to get as many women as possible to understand that their periods are not a bad thing, and the first step in understanding that periods are good are to lessen the pain that they cause us. 

What It Really Means To Be Thankful

Every year, most of us gather around a dinner table and fill our gluttonous mouths with decedent foods that Paula Dean would be proud of while secretly hoping that your cousin Sam doesn't start talking about Donald Trump, or you are preparing a comeback for your aunt Molly for when she asks you if you really need to be a vegetarian. Then, more often than not, someone starts the Thankful Circle, and you must go around the table and share what you are thankful for. And almost always, we all stare at each other with moony eyes and say "my family," but what does it really mean to be thankful for anything? Whether you claim it is your health, a new job, or something else, is it a truthful answer to say that you are thankful?

By definition, thankful only means "pleased and relieved." Is that something that we want to feel when describing what means most? Simply relieved? Perhaps this is the case. Maybe sometimes we can only feel relieved that no one fought this year.

However, gratitude means "readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."
Aren't those words much more soothing to read? Appreciation and kindness are two of the most important things we can feel in our lives. I suggest we stop being thankful for things and start showing gratitude.

I see people every day go into their day and passive-aggressively demand kindnesses be done unto them because they think they deserve it. My advice, if you wish to live a life that is based around love, compassion, and gratitude, then those people can continue to be harsh and ungrateful. Your kindness and appreciation should be spent on those who need it. Seek out those who suffer and show them kindness.

Everyday we have a choice to put forth our best self. Thanksgiving Day is no exception. And I'm not going to go into the whole Black Friday argument, or anything about the actual history of the holiday (because like every holiday in America, it is quite detached from its original meaning). But what I will say is that anything that you eat, shop for, or have already has an origin and we should all respect those origins. Compassion extends far beyond what you have in your daily lives, and these next 48-hours are quite horrid for many living beings on this planet.

As you sit wherever you may sit tonight, keep your heart and your mind open. Express kindness and show gratitude, don't just say you're "please and relived," for your family. Be bold with your love.

Have a very wonderful Thanksgiving!

The Most Embarrassing Thing I Have Ever Done

 In reality, I should probably not put this story out into the internet forever because there’s a fair chance that a future employer may stumble upon my blog and reconsider their decision to hire me (If so, please don’t judge me. It’s a hard life being this weird).

This story I am about to tell you is 100% factual and I wish it wasn’t and I’m probably going to dwell in my own regret once I hit the ‘publish’ button, but the world is so full of hate and awfulness that I think I can handle a little bit of public humiliation if it brightens your day.

So our story begins with seventeen-year-old me on the computer at home in the summer. I’m just hanging out and watching some YouTube videos with cats. You know the usual. I get a call from my mother saying she needs her briefcase ASAP and she doesn’t have time to drive all the way home to get it. She says she’ll meet me halfway in the parking lot of a pool. I was a little annoyed. Dude I was just getting to the good part of the cat video where the cat is being especially cat-like. But hey, I’m newly licensed and an excuse to drive myself somewhere is as good as any. I grab the briefcase and head out to meet her.

On the drive over to the parking lot I realize I have to use the bathroom, but it’s no big deal. I can definitely hold it.

I get to the lot and give my mom her briefcase. I mention that I kind of need to number 2, she tells me I should run in and go to the bathroom. Seems logical enough, but I’m like nah, I can hold it. It’s only like, what, ten minutes back to the house? I’ll be fine.

Thirty seconds into the ride home, my bowels begin to speak to me. Hey, Julia. Yeah um just letting you know that we’re expecting a delivery any time now. I of course ignore the warnings of my grumbling digestive system. It’s just gas, right? I’ll be A-okay. Just five more minutes and we’ll be home.

One minute later things get SO real SO fast. My bowels are like, there’s no time for waiting. You have less than a minute until your poop package is delivered. Get to a toilet. GO GO GO!

So here I am, sweating from every orifice of my body, white-knuckled on the steering wheel, and cursing myself for not just going at the pool building. At this point all laws of driving safety do not apply to me. I am rolling through stop signs and speeding around corners desperately hoping against hope that a target will spring up in the middle of the endless blocks of suburban homes.  

I knew that I had no choice but to pull over. My squirming was seriously impairing my driving. So I did. I pulled my car over six blocks away from my house and had a moment with myself. I knew what that what I was about to do was going to be ugly. I, in that moment, forgave myself in advance for being a failure at functioning like a proper adult.

Then began the hot sweaty scramble to find something, anything, that would soon become my makeshift toilet (Warning: things are about to get kind of graphic).

I had about 4.5 seconds to grab something before things got messy and in my frazzled state, I grabbed a winter glove from the passenger side floor. And there I sat in broad daylight, a grown-ass woman taking a crap into a cheap-knit winter glove. After it was over, I pulled up my pants like a dignified person and found a plastic bag to bury my shame (and ruined glove), and then I cried all the rest of the way home.

I parked in the driveway and began the cleaning of shame. The trip to the outside garbage, trying not to look like I was carrying a diaper-glove, the thorough shower to cleans me from the grief of knowing I was an idiot. Then having to Google how to clean my seat and being pleasantly surprised at the effects of vinegar.

Lesson of the story: Don’t be stupid, just go poo like a normal person.

Again, I may live to highly regret the decision to share this to the world, but life’s short and if this makes you laugh, then I’m cool with looking like a fool. 

Hidden Treasures | Underrated Movies

Here I have compiled a list of movies that I believe everyone should watch in their lives. I even went ahead and categorized them for you (no worries, they're not nearly as bad as Netflix categories). So go forth with this list and enjoy what I have declared my favorite underrated films of the past two decades.

1. A Lot Like Love (2005)
   
   
   (Romantic Comedy)
   By now everyone in the English speaking world knows movies like The Notebook and Titanic. Indeed they are superb chick-flicks, but A Lot Like Love is a rom-com that I have no idea why it never got the same kind of praise as any Nicholas Sparks adaptation ever. It's the predecessor for movies like Friends With Benefits, it's not annoyingly cliche, and it's male-friendly (Ashton Kutcher is everyone's favorite).
   
2. The Double (2013)
   
   
   (Psychological Thriller)
   This movie, although not for everyone, is a really cool film. I would say it's like an indie Fight Club. I rented it because I love Jesse Eisenberg (as you will soon come to realize as you read on) and I have never not liked a movie he was in. Warning: it starts slow, but when you wait for it to pick up, it is wholly engaging and interesting. Also Mia Wasikowska (Alice from Tim Burton's version) is wonderful.
   
3. Adventureland (2009)
   
   
   (Serious Teen Drama)
   Oh, hey. I didn't lie about liking Jesse Eisenberg, did I? Earlier this year I wrote a movie review on American Ultra (click here to read) and I mentioned that Kristen Stewart and Jesse are one of my absolute favorite on screen couples. I hold this movie very dear to my heart for many reasons; one being it is a very real and honest coming-of-age tale. And did I mention Jesse Eisenberg?
   
4. Juno (2007)
   
   
   (Comedy)
   I am fully aware that many many people know and love this movie, but I added it to this list because EVERYONE should know and love it. It's been almost ten years since I first saw this movie and I still quote it daily, and you know what? Because not everyone loves this movie like I do, no one understands the references so I'll make a perfectly normal encounter with a human being really weird because I blurt out "Whoa, dream big!" and everyone thinks I'm just being an ass. So, for the sake of my social well-being, make everyone you know watch Juno.
   
5. Why Stop Now? (2012)
   
   
   (Comedy)
   Yep. Jesse Eisenberg again (are you even surprised?)
   Okay so this movie is something I found in the dark corners of Netflix on a particularly boring afternoon. I was weary about it because you should be when you venture out of the Trending Now section of Netflix, but I thought "Jesse Eisenberg," and hit play. Guys, Jesse does not disappoint ever! I bet if you took your least favorite movie and re-shot it with Jesse, he would save it (anyone else thinking of Jesse as a moody yet wittily sarcastic vampire?).
   Back to the real movie. It is charmingly fun and I would highly suggest it for a good serious comedy.
   
6. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
   
   
   (Comedy)
   Like Juno, I know it has a cult following but for god's sake make it bigger. It's just impossible to not like this movie. I was also Napoleon for Halloween
   
   
   
7. Horns (2013)
   
   
   (Thriller Fantasy)
   So here's a little summary of this movie. Harry Potter lives in Seattle (no vampires, I promise) and people think he killed his missing girlfriend. Well, Harry loses his cool and turns into a satyr.  Okay I'm kidding, but that's actually not a terrible plot summary. This is a kind of thriller/horror/fantasy movie that is not unlike a super hero movie where the protagonist dances on the like of being an anti-hero.
   
8. Scream (1996)
   
   
   (Horror/ Slasher)
   Yes, these movies are popular. I know that. But they are not appreciated like they should be. How sick are you of going to the movies and seeing the same horror film rehashed over and over? Didn't the nineties just do movies right? This is such a fun slasher movie (in a totally non psychopathic way). This past October I watched these movies almost everyday. Sometimes twice...
   
9. LOL (2012)
   
   
   (Romantic Drama)
   I remember when I first discovered this movie, I made everyone watch it with me. No one believed me that it was going to be good because this was right when Miley started cutting her hair and behaving un-Disney.
   You may notice that I like coming-of-age movies and this one is really fun. Miley gives a really sincere performance and I think it is an overall well-done and wholly under-celebrated.
    
10. Stoker (2013)
    
    
    (Weirdest/ Coolest Psychological Thriller Ever)
    I cannot stop thinking about this movie. I went into it thinking it would be an fairly generic horror film about a girl who has a crazy family, but I was so wrong. Yes, there is a crazy family. No, it is not in any way generic at all. I feel like all I want to do is watch this movie over and over. It's definitely a thriller movie and it's pretty disturbing and should come with some serious trigger warnings (graphic violence), but it's the kind of movie that just haunts you. I also have a bit of a crush on Mia Wasikowska's acting in every film she's in.