Guide to Becoming a Grownup

Welcome to Julia’s internet self-help guide for new big kids on pretending to fit in with the other big kids.

Ready for adulthood? Me neither. Great! Let’s get started.

Today’s question comes from my brain.

Dear Julia,
What’s the first step to fitting in with other grownups?
Love, Julia.

Well, Julia the first step of fitting into anything is to pretend you already do. Next time you’re at family dinner, you don’t wait to be seated at the big kids’ table. You move your name place from that tiny fold out card table with the bulky plastic chairs and smack it down with purpose next to a wine glass and say, “I’d like a scotch on the rocks with a twist, Betty,” to your aunt (which is what Monica drinks on Friends so you know it’s a real drink) because adults do things with purpose and confidence (Also don’t be nervous about the rocks. They’re probably not real rocks).

To fit into a grownup’s natural habitat, you must perfect the art of blending. Repeat after me: To blend is to pretend. Over and over. That’s your new mantra for adulting. Applied to a situation, it works like this… You’re at a party and adults are talking about adult stuff. You must now conform your conversation to match their adulting. Kim might say “I am so disappointed in the candidates for presidents this year,” and you must blend. Saying you like someone will isolate you from adults. You must pretend to dislike. Even take it up a notch. Be even grumpier about the presidential election (adults like grumpy people).

Now, if your first attempt at adulting fails, just go home and continue binge watching Netflix. Because adults are mean, and OITNB is not. 

My First Performance!

Yesterday I had a magical first gig at a restaurant in Youngstown, NY.
Here's a clip from my night.
Enjoy (and share it). (*Subliminal peer pressure to share my video..*)

XOXO

Redmond Trading Company Product Review

I am really excited to say I have been given the wonderful opportunity to write about some of my favorite natural health products from Redmond Trading Company. They were so generous as to offer me an array of products that I have been testing out for the past few weeks and now get to share my thoughts about with you!

So without further ado…

Facial Mud Mask- I love this product. It is made from clay and water. That’s it. Nothing like the facial masks you would find at the drugstore. It’s not riddled with chemicals and preservatives and it works really well. I have occasion breakouts and this really calms them down. It’s also a really relaxing excuse to watch an episode on Netflix.

Bath Salts- Similar to all of Redmond’s products, these bath salts have a short ingredient list. It is real salt, unrefined, filled with trace minerals. I went out and bought a small storage tub as a makeshift spa tub for soaking my feet with the bath salts. You can also use it in the bathtub obviously. It’s not an oily salt so it will not leave you or your tub slippery and greasy. The minerals soak in through your pores and make your skin really soft.

Earthpaste- I have been using Earthpaste for over a year and according to my dentist, I have perfect dental health. This toothpaste comes in three flavors, all made with clay and essential oils: Peppermint, Wintergreen, and Lemon Twist. All are very good and leave your mouth feeling even cleaner than traditional toothpaste (also drinking orange juice right after doesn’t destroy your taste buds).

Seasonings and Salt- I was pleasantly surprised to find that Redmond had a line of seasonings. I’ve tried garlic salt, onion salt, seasoned salt, and Real Salt. All are really good swaps for regular seasoning and table salts. I was hesitant to start using the seasonings because it visually looks different. Redmond doesn’t refine their salts, meaning they don’t strip it of the naturally occurring nutrients. I thought I would be able to taste the difference and I was worried it would affect my recipes, but I was glad to find it didn’t. I highly suggest switching to Redmond for Real Salt because you’d be surprised to find that your table salt has been rid of everything great about natural salt and has unnecessary additives.   

Dehydrated Clay- There’s a lot of ways you can use the clay powder. You can make fresh facial mud or toothpaste and store them in an airtight glass container. You want to make sure that the clay doesn’t touch metal as it can draw out toxins from the metal and you don’t want that in your bloodstream. A more ambitious way to use the clay powder is internally. Clay is actually really good for digestion and stomach problems, (perhaps for more severe problems consult a physician) and drawing out toxins from your body.  To ingest the clay, add a little bit to a large glass of water. Getting dehydrated clay would be ideal for someone who enjoys making their own products.

EarthCure Soap- If you have ever wanted a natural soap that doesn’t kill good bacteria, I suggest this. I had tried a bunch of different soaps from organic grocery store soaps, to Lush’s handmade soaps, but none have been really good hand soaps. I use Lush as a body wash but when you’re washing your hands to make dinner, you don’t really want particles of plants all over your hands. EarthCure soap is a foaming soap that is made only with natural ingredients. I have Peppermint scented soap and I really like that oil for disinfecting. I am kind of germaphobic so I wash my hand a lot and this soap doesn’t dry my hands out like other kinds do. It also comes in Lavender and Citrus which I am probably going to order right after I stop writing about it.

To browse Redmond’s amazing products go here!

Also be sure to follow Fly With Time via email! 

Dealing With Expectations

One of my biggest flaws is that I expect a lot from myself. I think, now that I’m not a teenager, I need to be successful at everything right away. I get down on myself for not being a perfect eater, for not working out enough, for sleeping in ever. I have lost a lot of sleep just worrying and picking on myself for not being perfect already.

So to combat my Type A, perfectionist self, I made a list (naturally). In my list, I wrote down everything that I expect of myself. Then I wrote down everything that other people expect of me. It’s quite overwhelming to look at. There are small things, such as being expected to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, to big things like figuring out what I’m going to do for my whole life.

I decided to go through my list and cross off anything that was a reasonable expectation so I could have a more focused look on the difficult ones. They were things that I had no idea how to manage and things that I wasn’t sure I wanted to maintain.

A huge part of the reason why anybody stresses out is because of expectations. To anyone who feels like they are drowning in expectations, you can choose which ones apply to you. If someone expects you to be there for them 24/7 and they don’t appreciate you and could easily survive without you, you can choose not to be there for them anymore. You don’t have to live up to unreasonable expectations. You decide which ones you want to live by because every day you wake up, it is you living in your body. No one else. It’s your life that is affected by your actions.

I still have a hard time letting things go. I get angry because people think things or expect things from me that I resent, but it’s a learning process. So, Internet Friends, I ask you now to make a list of expectations. A huge list. Get a little anxious about it. Then pick and choose what you want to do. It’s not selfish to hone in on yourself. You have to put yourself first. 

Fly With Time Goes to Etsy

My Harry Potter obsession just got real.

As of a few weeks ago, I have begun making Harry Potter wands and I opened up my own Etsy account. You can just call me Ollivander. 

So welcome to Fly With Time, the shop who's owner likes to whittle wooden sticks with a hunting knife on her front porch surely scaring the postman, all in the name of art (for the sake of Harry Potter appreciation, because you really can't take it too far). 

So if you've ever liked one of my DIY craft blogs, you'll probably like the wands I've made. 

Check out my shop here! Four wands are listed now, but many more are to come.

Also new to my blog is a "Contact Me" section with an email specifically for my blog. Any comments, suggestions, questions, or general curiosities are welcome. I created the email account for those who have told me how difficult it is to leave a comment on my blogs without having a Google Plus account. 

Thank you for reading :)

Julia

https://www.etsy.com/listing/238089011/handmade-hermione-granger-inspired-wand?ref=shop_home_active_1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/238188256/handmade-harry-potter-inspired-wand?ref=listing-shop-header-1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/238087681/handmade-harry-potter-inspired-wand?ref=listing-shop-header-2

https://www.etsy.com/listing/237489728/handcrafted-hermione-granger-wand?ref=listing-shop-header-3

Book Review: Moon Time by Lucy H. Pearce

About a year ago I bought a book called, Moon Time: a guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle by Lucy H. Pearce, and it was just what I needed.  So many women have this idea that their periods are gross and that no one needs to talk about it, so it often is not discussed. I remember as a young girl I was always really excited to get my first period, but when I did I hated it. No one told me what cramps were going to feel like, I don’t think I was even aware that cramps hurt. I didn’t know how to deal with it, or the PMS, and I began to rue the day that I was excited for something so torturous. It really is a problem that menstruating is not on open topic of discussion. It’s the reason why any of us exist, so why can’t we all get over the “ick” factor and move on.

Moon Time is incredibly life altering if you really want to improve your relationship with your menstrual cycle and yourself. Pearce is not an author to write a book for profit. You can tell with every page that she cares about you and your growth as a woman. She teaches you the beauty of your cycles, how to care for your body and soul in natural and loving ways. I suggest having a journal that you keep with you as you read it. There are sections of the book that are interactive. She will ask questions to which you should respond. I go back and read my answers now from a year ago and I’m glad I have that insight. This book takes you through a metamorphosis with not just how you think about your cycles, but how you treat yourself because of them. I really cannot stress how important it is that women’s views on their periods need to change. We really should be celebrating them, not popping Advil and hating them for being an inconvenience.

If you are even a little bit curious about this book, I highly recommend you pick it up. Open yourself up to new ideas.

http://www.amazon.com/Moon-Time-guide-celebrating-menstrual/dp/1468056719/

To find other inspiring books by Pearce, check out her website.

http://dreamingaloud.net/

Feminism vs Hypocrisy

Mark Ruffalo has recently come out swinging at the “I am not a feminist,” movement and until I read that, I had no idea that such a thing existed. In order to understand the situation a little better, I looked up the tumblr page dedicated to women against feminism. I sit here now reading posts by women everywhere listing reasons why they don’t need feminism. Overall I have found that these women have no idea feminism really is. 

I’ve had multiple conversations with other women who are afraid to call themselves feminist because of this stigma that it is a dirty word used by men-hating women. People seem to think that feminism now consists of women who want special treatment. 

I will admit that I’ve met people who claim to be feminist and use it as leverage to complain about their misfortunes and pull the gender card whenever possible. These women do not understand what feminism is. Feminism is about equality. It’s not about getting special treatment. It’s not about oppressing men. These women who claim they don’t need feminism are so caught up in this horrifyingly trendy fad that they don’t understand that without feminism their lives would be extraordinarily different. 

One woman wrote that she feels she doesn’t need equality because it already exists. I understand that not everyone in the world will feel the effects of inequality, but that doesn’t mean it’s made up. Personally, I am disgusted by this ignorant movement. Their ignorance is not an opinion, it is a fact. Inequality is not imaginary, it’s something that women deal with every single day, it’s something I’ve witnessed and experienced, and women who are actively fighting their pursuit of equality should be countered. Something I hope everyone who thinks that feminism is a dirty word takes away from this is that there is a difference between hypocrites and feminists. 

True feminism is about equality, and that is something that does not exist yet. Of course there are people who take it too far, but extremists exist everywhere and an entire movement towards better treatment of people should not be tarnished because of a few people who crossed a line. Sound familiar?